{"id":145,"date":"2016-03-24T10:24:33","date_gmt":"2016-03-24T14:24:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/glendakotchish.com\/dir\/?page_id=145"},"modified":"2016-03-24T10:24:33","modified_gmt":"2016-03-24T14:24:33","slug":"when-johnny-comes-marching-home","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/glendakotchish.com\/dir\/stories\/when-johnny-comes-marching-home\/","title":{"rendered":"When Johnny Comes Marching Home"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"viet-nam-war-67486_640\"He didn\u2019t talk about Nam. \u00a0\u00a0He should have, I guess. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0But no one was listening, anyway, so it wouldn\u2019t of done much good. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0I figure the thinking was–back then–that WWII vets didn\u2019t go on about what they saw and especially about their dreams. \u00a0\u00a0So there weren’t no reason for this new crop of Vets to carry on about their war. \u00a0After all, \u00a0it had been only twenty years since our fathers had come home from overseas–and they were doing alright.<\/p>\n

Good Lord, \u00a0I didn\u2019t even know there was a war going on when my would-be-husband was over there getting shot at and shooting up the place. \u00a0\u00a0The first I heard of the war was when someone in my ninth-grade homeroom suggested we pay tribute to the \u201cboys over there\u201d \u00a0instead of decorating the classroom for Christmas. \u00a0\u00a0Back then you were allowed to say \u201cChristmas\u201d in school and put up whatever you liked–nativity scenes even. \u00a0\u00a0Now-a-days, my grandchildren have something called \u201cWinter Holiday\u201d, or some such foolishness. \u00a0Their mother ain\u2019t even allowed to make a cupcake and send it to school. \u00a0It\u2019s gotta be store-bought and sealed up and full of preservatives. \u00a0\u00a0Anyway, \u00a0back then, when we were decorating for Christmas–that\u2019s the first I\u2019d heard of the war in Vietnam. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0I was the one that drew the charcoal picture of the soldier in his helmet, which we taped up on the classroom door. \u00a0\u00a0I can still see that soldier, dirt on his face, wearing that helmet and them sad, sad eyes. \u00a0\u00a0(I drew it from a Life magazine cover that someone gave me on loan–to go by.)<\/p>\n

Back to Johnny–he came home from the war and he had no idea that it weren\u2019t over when he stepped off that plane. \u00a0His family, a big one. was there to greet him. \u00a0\u00a0I wasn\u2019t there \u2018cause I didn\u2019t know Johnny or his family even though they lived just down the road, a bit, from my family. \u00a0\u00a0We kept to ourselves, you see. \u00a0My mother didn\u2019t like anyone to know our business<\/em>. \u00a0\u00a0Not that anything untoward ever went on at our house–unless you count the fighting Mama and Daddy did–or the loud praying. \u00a0\u00a0Maybe that was it. \u00a0Who knows? \u00a0\u00a0We were just busy going to church–whenever the doors were open (which was a lot)–and the weekly trip to the grocery store on Friday nights. That\u2019s about it. \u00a0I kept a diary back then, so that\u2019s how I know. \u00a0\u00a0I found it in a box of \u201cyour things\u201d that my mother sent me, years later–pretty boring stuff for a fifteen year old, especially compared to today. \u00a0\u00a0But I won\u2019t go into that.<\/p>\n

Anyway, \u00a0after Johnny got home from the war, he hung around his Mama and Daddy\u2019s house for a while \u2018til they made him get a job \u00a0\u00a0Which he did–at the Safeway. \u00a0\u00a0He was a bag boy–bagged up the groceries and rolled them to your car. \u00a0\u00a0They did that back then–put the stuff in a bag and hauled it out \u00a0for you–none of this you\u2019re on your own <\/em>stuff you have to deal with nowadays. \u00a0\u00a0First thing he did after he got the job was go out and get a loan and buy himself a car–a hot, red Mustang–used. \u00a0The next thing that he did was get a speeding ticket–which he talked himself out of \u2018cause he told them he\u2019d just got out of the VA hospital from his war wounds–which was partially true. \u00a0He did <\/em>have war-wounds but they\u2019d healed up, or so they said down at the VA. \u00a0\u00a0His left eye, where the shrapnel hit, weren’t ever right again and he didn\u2019t get no kind of compensation for that–ever. \u00a0\u00a0And he was pretty busted up on the insides–you know–mentally. \u00a0\u00a0And the VA never got him any help for that either.<\/p>\n

I met Johnny that summer right after he got that new car. \u00a0\u00a0My girlfriend, \u00a0knew his sister and she introduced us. \u00a0\u00a0We went out for a ride in his car, \u00a0which I can tell you was pretty scary. \u00a0\u00a0He drove mighty fast–whipping through the gears and he didn\u2019t mind taking up the other guy\u2019s part of the road either, especially on the road down by the river with all the curves.<\/p>\n

Once Johnny was in your life, he was there to stay. \u00a0\u00a0I had no<\/em> idea. \u00a0It weren’t a month before he was asking me to marry him. \u00a0\u00a0I sure as heck wasn\u2019t ready to get married and have kids. \u00a0\u00a0Me and my sister had been busy raising our brothers and sisters for Mama–getting up in the middle of the night and giving them their bottle, changing their diapers (cloth diapers, not those easy disposable ones) and all that goes with a bunch of babies and kids. \u00a0No sir, me and my sister wanted no part of having any babies. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0But Johnny kept at it. \u00a0\u00a0I\u2019d say no and then he\u2019d set a date. \u00a0\u00a0I\u2019d say that\u2019s too soon–which he took as me saying yes<\/em>. \u00a0Then I told him I had a whole world to love first. \u00a0\u00a0He took that all wrong–thought I wanted to sow some wild oats or something. \u00a0\u00a0Course in them days, girls didn\u2019t sow wild oats–only guys—everybody knew that–except Johnny mistook what I meant. \u00a0\u00a0Then his car broke down and he got in a fight with his father and I felt really bad for him. \u00a0\u00a0Didn\u2019t seem like anybody was on his side. \u00a0\u00a0So I got myself some birth control pills and I married him.<\/p>\n

Johnny took care of everything. \u00a0\u00a0He picked out the wedding bands, got my Daddy to go with us to the courthouse and sign for me to get married, \u00a0rented the apartment, \u00a0got the furniture–on time–and opened a checking account in both our names. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0We pooled our money and did okay–for awhile–anyways.<\/p>\n

He was pretty, what you\u2019d call, nervous<\/em>. Couldn\u2019t sit in one place very long before he\u2019d have to leave and go do something else. \u00a0And since we were married, that meant I had to go too. \u00a0\u00a0And he\u2019d get into arguments with people for the tiniest things. \u00a0\u00a0Like once we were just riding in the car and we were stopped, waiting for the traffic light to change. \u00a0Some kid in the car behind us revved up his engine. \u00a0\u00a0It weren’t nothin to it, \u00a0but Johnny jumped out of our car and ran back to the kid and punched him in the face. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Then he got back in the car and we drove off. \u00a0\u00a0A couple of days later, Johnny gets a summons to juvenile court. \u00a0\u00a0We had to pay for some dental work for the kid–he was only sixteen, \u00a0three years younger than me and here I am paying for his dental work, while I couldn\u2019t even afford to go to the dentist myself.<\/p>\n

Stuff like that kept happening. \u00a0I give him this much, though. \u00a0He was smart enough to get rid of the guns he had in the house. \u00a0Now you might think, guns? \u00a0You had guns in your house? \u00a0\u00a0My answer is yep, sure did, cause it won\u2019t nothin for people to have a gun or two, back then. \u00a0\u00a0After all hunting, and turkey shoots and the shooting range–all is recreation and a sport. \u00a0\u00a0But Johnny gave his guns to his Dad after the time someone was messing with Johnny\u2019s car one night and Johnny got the gun and went out to check on what was going on. \u00a0\u00a0Turned out to be another juvenile and we was back in juvenile court again. \u00a0\u00a0We had to get a lawyer this time who got Johnny off on probation.<\/p>\n

Johnny just couldn\u2019t find no peace at all. \u00a0And he didn\u2019t give me or his family–who by the way was a real nice group of people–any peace either. \u00a0\u00a0We\u2019d go over there for Sunday dinner and before the meal was even started there\u2019d be some argument with his Dad or brothers or sisters and Johnny be storming out of the house, me following along behind, like some kind of little mouse. \u00a0Then later in the day, he\u2019d call up and say he was sorry and we\u2019d start all over again…until the next time. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0And as far as my family went, well they didn\u2019t put up with it–at all. \u00a0\u00a0There weren\u2019t no going back and saying \u201csorry\u201d and then carrying on like nothin ever happened. \u00a0My family knows how to hold a grudge. \u00a0\u00a0So there was a couple of years I didn\u2019t get to see nobody on my side of the family.<\/p>\n

Every year we\u2019d move, \u00a0a new start, new neighbors–same town though. \u00a0\u00a0And Johnny\u2019d quit a job at the drop of a hat–if things didn\u2019t go his way. \u00a0\u00a0As for me, I had a good job and stuck with it. \u00a0\u00a0Worked my way up to supervisor. \u00a0\u00a0But what with the trading in of cars and the moving every year, we couldn\u2019t save no money. \u00a0Then Johnny\u2019s mother kept on about us having a baby and how that might help things. \u00a0Then Johnny <\/em>got that <\/em>in his head–so we did–have a baby. \u00a0\u00a0But things didn\u2019t get better–if anything, they got worse \u2018cause now there was a little baby in the midst of all that uproar. \u00a0\u00a0I got an ulcer. \u00a0\u00a0Johnny got high-blood pressure. \u00a0\u00a0And we was fighting just like my Mama and Daddy did–all my life.<\/p>\n

I got my courage up one night and told Johnny that this weren\u2019t working–everybody being miserable–we needed to call it quits. \u00a0\u00a0He didn\u2019t blow up or anything–just got real quiet like–and sat there in his chair. \u00a0\u00a0He didn\u2019t look at me or anything, just stared down in his lap. \u00a0\u00a0Every now and then he\u2019d look up at the TV. \u00a0\u00a0So after about an hour I went on to bed thinking I\u2019d figure out what to do next, in the morning. \u00a0\u00a0A couple of \u00a0hours later I heard car doors opening and closing, so I got up and looked out the side door, where our cars were parked. \u00a0There stood Johnny, in the moonlight, carrying a shotgun. \u00a0\u00a0Now all this time, I thought his Dad had the guns. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Maybe Johnny went over to his Dad\u2019s and got the shotgun.<\/p>\n

I said, \u201cWhat you doing, Johnny?\u201d<\/p>\n

He said, \u201cIf you leave I ain\u2019t got nothin.\u201d<\/p>\n

God, it was the saddest thing I ever heard. \u00a0\u00a0I just felt so bad for him–being so lost and all. \u00a0My ulcer started hurting just then, and I felt like this was a warning signal–like \u201cdon\u2019t give in, stick to your guns, it ain\u2019t no good, you and him being together.\u201d \u00a0\u00a0But my heart just broke looking at him–so sad. \u00a0\u00a0I could cry–even to this day–just thinking about it. \u00a0\u00a0So I said, \u201cCome on in the house. \u00a0\u00a0I ain\u2019t going to leave.\u201d<\/p>\n

Well I did stay. \u00a0\u00a0And nothin changed. \u00a0\u00a0And then I got to thinking about that shotgun. \u00a0\u00a0At the time–that night–I didn\u2019t think he was going to hurt me or the baby. \u00a0\u00a0It just never occurred to me. \u00a0Actually, I thought he was going to shoot himself. \u00a0\u00a0But the more I thought about it, the more I knew that I had no idea <\/em>of what he might be capable of. \u00a0\u00a0And some things (like if you was to kill somebody) you can\u2019t fix with a: \u00a0\u201cI\u2019m sorry\u201d.<\/p>\n

I had saved a little money, from the profit sharing at work, that Johnny didn\u2019t know about. \u00a0\u00a0If he knew about it, he\u2019d have spent it. \u00a0That money was for a rainy day. \u00a0\u00a0So I went to my boss and told him what had been going on and what I had in mind to do. \u00a0\u00a0Well, \u00a0I wasn\u2019t telling my boss anything he didn\u2019t already know, or at least suspect–what with the phone calls I\u2019d get at work from Johnny and sometimes Johnny had showed up at the store and caused a ruckus. \u00a0\u00a0My boss was a good guy and he fixed it for me to get a transfer to another store–in another town. \u00a0It\u2019s a big chain, \u00a0you know. \u00a0\u00a0I wrote a letter to my Daddy and left it with my boss and told him to send it a week or so after I\u2019d left. \u00a0\u00a0That way if Johnny was to ask my family about where I\u2019d gone, they could honestly say that didn\u2019t know nothin \u2018bout nothin. \u00a0Johnny was good at weaseling information out of people. \u00a0\u00a0My boss was the only one who knew where I was going but he was a big man and I knew Johnny won\u2019t going to be able to intimidate him or anything.<\/p>\n

So I left. \u00a0\u00a0And we did alright–me and the baby. \u00a0\u00a0It was scary, being on my own but not as scary as worrying about…well you know. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0My ulcer got better. \u00a0\u00a0The only fussing that went on was the baby who cried when she was hungry or the usual stuff babies fret about.<\/p>\n

You know another good thing about me leaving (besides getting to stay alive) was that Johnny got himself some help. \u00a0\u00a0He wouldn\u2019t have never gone to a psychiatrist about his problem (they call it PTSD now). \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0He went for marriage counseling. \u00a0Can you believe that? \u00a0\u00a0I reckon he figured that I might come back if I heard that he was trying to turn over a new leaf. \u00a0\u00a0But as it happened, \u00a0the psychiatrist must have got him to talking about Vietnam \u2018cause he didn\u2019t kill anybody or ever go to jail–that I ever heard about. \u00a0That\u2019s where he was headed, though, sure as shootin.<\/p>\n

As for me, I never went back home. \u00a0\u00a0There just wasn\u2019t much of anything there for me, what with my family being so evangelical and judgemental. \u00a0\u00a0Plus Johnny\u2019s family didn\u2019t take kindly to me leaving their boy. \u00a0So I just, \u00a0pretty much, \u00a0let sleeping dogs lie by keeping my distance.<\/p>\n

You know, one thing about wars–well, two things: \u00a0some wars need to be fought–for sure (that\u2019s one thing), \u00a0and the other thing is: \u00a0the soldiers don\u2019t leave the war behind when it\u2019s over. \u00a0\u00a0They bring it on back home with them and everybody suffers. \u00a0\u00a0I\u2019m not saying I should have been spared the suffering or anything. \u00a0I\u2019m just saying that\u2019s how it is–that\u2019s all.<\/p>\n

\u00a9 Glenda Kotchish<\/p>\n

March 20, 2016<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A note about this story:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Just in case you’re wondering where the story came from, one night I was thinking about guns–not how you might think–if you are anti-second-amendment or anti-NRA. \u00a0\u00a0I was just thinking about how guns were commonplace back when I was growing up. \u00a0\u00a0So the story just took off from there.<\/p>\n

GMK<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

He didn\u2019t talk about Nam. \u00a0\u00a0He should have, I guess. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0But no one was listening, anyway, so it wouldn\u2019t of done much good. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0I figure the thinking was–back then–that WWII vets didn\u2019t go on about what they saw and especially about their dreams. \u00a0\u00a0So there weren’t no reason for this new crop of Vets to … Continue reading When Johnny Comes Marching Home<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":33,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-145","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/glendakotchish.com\/dir\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/145","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/glendakotchish.com\/dir\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/glendakotchish.com\/dir\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/glendakotchish.com\/dir\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/glendakotchish.com\/dir\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=145"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/glendakotchish.com\/dir\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/145\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":147,"href":"http:\/\/glendakotchish.com\/dir\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/145\/revisions\/147"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/glendakotchish.com\/dir\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/33"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/glendakotchish.com\/dir\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=145"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}